June 16, 2025. MY FATHERS.

                                           MY FATHERS

Writers often write about mothers, musicians often compose music about mothers, but very few people talk about fathers.

Is it true that fathers love their children less than mothers?

I remember my father. He passed away 35 years ago, but I still remember and pray for him every night. 

I did not live with him for long, only a dozen years in my youth. Since I was 13 years old I lived far away from home because he sent me to a boarding school in the city of Huế.

Later, I went to Saigon for my years of college, and only came back home to live with him during the few summer days.  

 He did not teach me much, just said: 

“Son, never gamble, smoke, or become addicted to drugs.” 

He was growing up in the early years of the 20th century. Vietnam at that time was under the yoke of French colonialism, and the French allowed the opium trade to poison the Vietnamese people. 

He did not have much education, just finished the first year of Middle School at Quốc Học High School in Huế city, only to drop out because my grandparents ran out of money. 

In the past, parents often used whips to teach their children to behave. He never disciplined his children that way. Only once did he scold me for not bowing and thanking the teachers when I received the awards. That was the year I was in high school, when I received the awards, and one from the Head of State, Emperor Bảo Đại. That was the first and last time he scolded me.

He never said to his children: “I love you,” but through his gestures and manners, I knew he loved me.

Long ago, on these days, I had suffered an unknown illness of my digestive tract and could not sleep. My parents bought a small cottage at Mỹ Khê beach, and that night, only my father and I slept there. Because of the pain I couldn't sleep. He slept in a bed next to me, seeing me moving around, he sat up and asked: 

“Son, are you hot? Let me fan you.”

 "No, dad, it's not hot. The sea breeze is cool. It's just that I can't sleep." 

Poor thing, my father was like that. He felt sorry for me.

He never smoked or drank alcohol. Occasionally, when there was something delicious on the table, he would drink a can of beer, and on days when I was around, he would take a glass and give me half. 

"Why don't you finish the can of beer and give me half?" 

“Son, give you half. It's more fun than drinking the whole can by myself.”

 During those summer vacations, if it was the full moon, or the first day of the month, he would ask me to go upstairs to burn incense and ring the bell on the Buddhist altar for him.

 Now, every time I smell the incense, I remember him. 

He lived quietly, rarely raising his voice to anyone in the house. When my mother was dissatisfied with him, she complained during meals, then he ate faster and left the table, not arguing with her. If he was so angry with my mom, he just said, "It's messy.”

 When I put on my shirt in a hurry and my collar wasn't straight, he came behind me and gently fixed my collar, without saying a thing. Why didn't I say thank you to him at that time? 

Now he has gone, leaving me with so much love and regret. I have loved him, but now remembering him, I love him much more, but he is no longer here so I can say:

“Dad, do you know how much I love you?”

My life has gone through dreamy stages of elementary, high school by the Han River in the city of Danang, then the college years in the beloved capital city of Saigon. 

During the years of military service, shrouded in smoke and fire of war, I always thought that I had only one father who gave birth to me in this painful and treacherous world, where there were few happy days that passed quickly, and many sad and painful ones. Until one day, through meditations, I comprehend that I have a Father in heaven who loves me with an Unconditional Love. He created me, loved me as if I were the only one in this world. Yet for many years I did not know, did not think, did not find.

 Dear  Heavenly Father, 

You have loved me, understood me better than I understood myself, and have forgiven so many of my mistakes, faults, and sins. And right now, at this time and place, You are loving me, a love greater than the vast oceans and long rivers. 

You give me the freedom to choose my life and direction, because you created me as a free person. I am your own image. You are Almighty and All-Good. 

You have placed in my heart the seeds of love. You want me to sow those seeds on this arduous path of life, wherever I go. 

Over 2000 years ago, the apostle Philip asked Jesus:

 “Please show me your Father, and that will be enough for us.” 

And Jesus answered: 

“Philip, you have been with me for so many years, and do not understand Me? I am in the Father and the Father is in Me. You see Me, then you see the Father.” 

As in the parable of the talents, when the master went away, he gave his workers, one with 5 talents, one with 3 talents, and one with 1 talent, so that these people could make a profit for him when he returns.

 Truly, dear Father, you have given me talents of love to make a profit for you. Please help me never forget that I have received seeds of love, which are talents of love that I must make a profit, and do not bury them in the ground like the lazy worker, and return them to the master when he returns from a long journey. 

The world I live in is full of suffering, disasters, illnesses, death, separation.

I cannot be an apostle, like a bright lamp that illuminates so many souls.

Please help me to be a very small and humble disciple, to be a small ray of light in the dark night.

Please let me be a small grain of salt, adding flavor to life, making a small Heaven around me.

As Saint Paul said:

"Of the three: Faith, Hope, and Love, in the end, only Love remains the most important".

Love is the source of all good things in this world. Truly, Your religion is the religion of Love.

Please let me live according to Your teachings:

"Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speaky kindly, and leave the rest to God".

Dear Jesus,

Let me know You and let me know myself. Know You to listen to Your Word and practice it in my daily life. Know myself to change my path into Your righteous one, to have Heaven in my heart, and  You will  be always with me.

 Please bless the body and soul of all people who read this meditation in my BLOG.